Remembering Mac Miller
Everyone mourns differently. For me, no matter how close I am to the deceased person, the initial shock and disbelief lasts at least a few days. I go numb to the emotions I’m feeling about the loss until something triggers a response. For my great grandmother, it was when my aunt read the eulogy I wrote for the funeral. Prince is one of my favorite human beings to walk this earth but it wasn’t until Janelle Monaé’s Detroit concert featured some obvious tributes this past July, over two years after his death, that his loss struck a nerve.
The most recent loss to hit me was Mac Miller. It didn’t feel real until I was attending the Childish Gambino concert in Chicago and he stopped mid-set to give a eulogy and dedicate a song to Mac. His words were both sentimental and relatable. I chose to live in that moment instead of recording as that’s when I realized another one of my favorite human beings had left this earth and I was internalizing my feelings about that.
WATCH: Childish Gambino’s Tribute to Mac Miller
Immediately after the concert, I wrote the following tweet:
It wasn’t until I was on my way back to Detroit from Chicago, letting my mom hear Best Day Ever for the first time (with tears in my eyes), that I remembered Mac’s influence on my life started even earlier than what’s stated in the tweet. His K.I.D.S. mixtape was released in August 2010, the summer after I was diagnosed with a heart condition that forced me to stop playing basketball and working out, two activities that defined me at that time. Unrelated, I also missed 12 weeks of school while in the hospital due to both my lungs collapsing, all during basketball season. I felt lost, useless, and questioned my identity as well as my existence.
Music helped me work through that hard time and K.I.D.S. was one of the projects in my daily rotation. Mac’s positive spirit came through loud and clear. His relatable and empathetic lyrics spoke to me and his upbeat production kept my spirits high. He reminded me that I had a life outside of basketball, a family that loves me, and goals to achieve. At times, I felt that music was all I had, and his provided everything I needed, including the words to express myself when I was down.
While reminiscing, I also remembered that a photoshopped image of Mac’s Blue Slide Park album with President Obama was my very first Instagram post. I have a lot of old posts that should probably get deleted but this one will remain forever.
As mentioned above, I had the pleasure of seeing Mac live in concert twice, the second show even bigger and better than the first. I don’t remember the setlist or whether the concerts started on time but I do remember the good vibes. I left both shows feeling hopeful, inspired, and genuinely happy to be alive. He gave the audience energy, stories, passion, peace, and love.
Mac Miller was a good, kind, and positive soul that planned to get so rich that he could buy his mom a house. He and I had mutual ambitions and I will always appreciate him for sharing that and spreading positivity through the art of music: something that he obviously held near and dear to his heart. His was a voice that I’ve always felt represented me and I’m eternally grateful that he shared his gift with the world.
Both Mac and his music were perceivably maturing and it saddens me that we’ll never get to see that come into fruition due to his tragic (but all too common) death. Breeana Blackmon, a long time friend and co-lead of Afrofuture Youth, wrote commentary on this part of the Mac Miller story that is more important than anything I’ve said above:
“I’m not too familiar with Mac Miller’s life or music outside of his mainstream hits; however, unfortunately, I’m all too familiar with the story of his loss. Living with trauma all our lives, and coping in unhealthy ways has been normalized. Opioids, sex, media, alcohol, food. Everyone’s finding a way to cope one way or another.
I pray my children get to live in a world in their lifetime where healing is normalized instead of coping; but more than that I’m dedicated to doing work in my lifetime that helps to create that world. Trauma is a part of life as we know it. It ain’t going nowhere. Ever. Being knowledgeable and pro-active about addressing trauma and healing is the only path to Freedom. It’s an absolute necessity for a healthy, balanced, and fruitful life. Which is why Afrofuture Youth was born, and why I agreed to be it’s co-lead, because I’ve lost, almost lost, and am still on the verge of losing too many people in my life to unaddressed trauma not to make it a priority in my life in every way possible.
Mac Miller’s and many other’s deaths were and are 1,000% preventable. So like I been saying, and like ima keep saying til my last day on this earth. Y’all gone get this healing werk. By any means necessary.”
SUPPORT: Afrofuture Youth Fundraising Campaign
I’d like to add that if you are living with stress, disturbing experiences, or any other negative emotions, you are not alone. I encourage you to avoiding keeping these things to yourself and/or using alcohol, drugs, or self harm to to numb your feelings. Instead, reach out to family and friends and allow them to help you heal. If that doesn’t help or isn’t an option, you can also utilize any of the following resources:
Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration
National Helpline: 800-662-4357
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 800-273-8255
